There was a great deal of excitement about a new route in the indoor climbing gym that involved a diagonal dyno. Not something I would try, if it was up to me. I realised very quickly that explaining the reason I avoid dyno’s and trying to get out of it, would put more of a spotlight on me than just trying it quickly.
Anton had a great time doing it; in fact he kept going back for more.
I didn’t even try and resist. I stood on that mantle ledge, aware of a number of onlookers. That de ja vu feeling of ‘I don’t have the strength to face this challenge’ came over me. The difference here was that I couldn’t hide or walk away without having to explain why I was being so irrational. My witnesses were completely aware that I have what it takes to complete this jump safely. With great empathy, they talked me through what was required. Somehow they must’ve sensed my lack of faith in my abilities. ‘All you need to do is lunge’. It sounded attractive but the fears of past injuries were shouting the opposite.
I took a leap of faith; aware that my fears were echos from the past and relevant to a smaller, weaker version of me. I would trust their belief in me and encourage a new mindset. I also wanted to let go of all the foreboding that came from past disappointments and to welcome more adventure and safe endings as viable scenarios.
What a scary joy… elbowing out excuses and trying something that had such an uncertain outcome.
Once again I realised that humility fosters grace…. an opportunity that eludes you if you avoid uncertainty!